As he daily attempts to reveal himself to me…I blatantly ignore his voice, the “visual aid”…maybe the person he sent to talk to me. I don’t know why I let my ignorance get the best of me when I know better than this, I’ve been taught the “truth”. I guess now it has just hit me that I have been drastically blinded by the things of this world and the people in it. Thankfully God is merciful!
There have been many crazy situations that have distanced me from not only God but my family and random friends. I was told last night that God must think very highly of me and think I’m a strong person for laying these trials and tribulations upon me and allowing his will to be done no matter how much I may fight,cry,scream..He’s been there for me and has saw me through- everything. I Prayed for guidance and he sent my friends with daily increasing wisdom. So, who is he who answers when I call? Who else but God.
So..its about 2 a.m..And I am wide awake! Why you ask? Well I’ll tell you! I have this very annoying, slightly exciting, wonderful feeling ( This is actually my definition of “orgasmic”..go figure! HA.) of anxiety! I am extremely anxious for something in which I do not know is coming…but I want it to come soon! I must be going crazy or something…(maybe too much Arizona Green Tea- all the antioxidants and GINSENG!)
Getting to the point:
This feeling is truly, madly, deeply. I can honestly say that I feel as if I am on cloud 9, head over heals in love…but I’m single- so this makes no sense! What the crap is the root of this feeling? I don’t know. I must admit that I was talking to a friend today and this guys name came up, I told her I wanted to date him! She laughed and thought I was joking, but that ended quickly as I replied back to the text with one of these “………….So serious.” Of course this was a total shocker to her seeing how when we were both with him for a bit I approached him as if I had already put him in the friends zone when he was born..(no chance, no worries.) I thought I did…Apparently not.
This guy happened to have liked one of my friends- She’s gorgeous! An ideal woman I may say! Wonderful personality, caramel skin, tall, different, and her body is damned near perfect <—- [I really should hate her…but she’s one of my best friends!] (whoops!). Anyway, he really liked her…and I knew before it was really stated- I just kind of saw it. I’ve always found this guy attractive but, so did half of the world! He’s one of those all around guys, funny, very attractive, athletic, and musically talented! What more could a girl ask for right!? Yeah, well a “longer story shorter” I developed an “inthemomentcraphe’sperfectcrush” and just to my luck! My girl-friend didn’t like him! I was soooo *bleeping* thrilled!
End of the story:
He does not see me in that sense, no matter what his friends may say. I guess I should not be bothered by this…but I am. I could have attempted to pursue him, but that really is not my style! I’m bold, but I am some what old fashioned when it comes to that area…I’ll sit back and wait. You never know..But until then.
I’m what you need, she’s what you want- no, not me.
- Gabe Bondoc